Many years ago, I wrote a book about the bad things that had happened in my life. Each time I wrote a chapter in that book, I had to deal with parts of my past. The deeper I searched for the truth, the quicker I was set free from that memory. By the time that book was finished, I knew who I was and what I needed to do to stop other people from their manipulation and control. The only one I wanted to control my life, was Jesus Christ, but I had a problem with this. If I couldn’t trust those that were close to me, how was I going to trust Jesus?
I wanted to obey Him, but I really didn’t know how. Then one day Jesus placed me into His training program. This program would slowly change the way I looked at life. The more I was led by Him every moment, I slowly started to understand what He wanted me to learn. This didn’t happen right away though, because it took me years to learn these lessons.
The Holy Spirit, Who became my Counselor and Teacher, tried teaching me how important it was to let Him handle things that might happen in my future. But that wasn’t easy. Yes, He did handle my future, when I would allow Him, but I wasn’t always that obedient. I often thought that I was smart enough to handle my own problems and I didn’t need His help. What I failed to realize was, I didn’t know what my future would bring, only Jesus did. And it wasn’t only Jesus that I had to deal with. I had to deal with the prince of darkness, Satan.
Satan knew that the only way he could stop me from doing what Jesus wanted, was for me to focus on myself. When I did, Satan was able to place fear into my life. Such as, how was I going to pay my bills, when I had very little income? Or, he would have me believe that I had gotten where I was through my own accomplishments. That was a bad way of thinking on my part.
It was so much easier to think that I was smart in what I was doing. But was I? Most of my life I fought against Jesus. Yet, even though I did, He had always gotten me out of a difficult situation. Why He didn’t give up on me, was a mystery. Was it because I had accepted Him into my heart, when I was seven years old? Was that the reason why He sent His angels around me for my protection? Who is Jesus anyways? In the Christian Bible it says, “Jesus was sent down to earth to show me and others, how we needed to walk according to His statues, where we, those who had accepted Jesus into their hearts, had to put on Christ in character, love and integrity. He died on the cross to forgive our sins. And by His stripes we have been healed of all our sicknesses and diseases. Jesus and God are One. That is what the Bible teaches.” Check out John 1:1-5,:10-14.
Before I was ever born, I died with Christ that day on the cross. Once I had accepted Jesus into my life, I was no longer from the 1st Adam, made of dirt. I was now a child of Jesus Christ, a new creation. God gave me, as a gift, to Jesus that day that He died on the cross. When Jesus went down into the grave and He took the keys of death from Satan, I too went there with Him. So sin, Satan, has no claim upon my life. The only thing that God looks upon, is the blood that Jesus shed for His children’ sins and no other. Check out 1 Cor.15:45; Romans 6:6; Hebrews 9:12.
Jesus and God are One. He is my Father and I am His child. That was the reason why Jesus never gave up. I am part of His family. But even though I am, I still continued rebelling. For many years I refused to do as He wanted. He wanted me to write a book about the bad things that had happened, when I was a child. For twelve years I had refused. Then in 1999 through the different road blocks that He placed into my path, I surrendered, but not completely. Finally, I wrote that book and it was published in 2002. Yet, it took me several more years before I had fully surrendered my entire life to my Savior.
Surrender meant that I had to yield to Jesus. Give up my freedom through obedience. I had to give the Holy Spirit permission to take control over my soul. Then I had to place my full trust in Him. When He told me to do something, it had to be done quickly. I became as a child. He became my Father. I became His daughter. A young child learning and listening to my Parent. As a young child, I needed to look to Him for food, clothing and love. As He continued to look after me, I learned how to crawl, walk and later I was able to become the mature Christian that He wanted me to be.
I soon learned how important is was to place everything upon His shoulders. The more I grasp this, the better off I was, until finally I became more and more like Jesus Christ in Character, Love and Integrity. Check out Hebrews 9:14-15; Hebrews 13:20-21.
One of the biggest lessons that I had to learn was, how to walk every second with Jesus and I was not to concern myself about any future events. Jesus explained what I needed to do. He said, “I know your future. I also know the different traps that Satan will put in your way for destruction. That is why it is very important for you to walk and obey My voice. I and My angels are there watching over you for your protection.”
Jesus told me that I had a destiny. However, my destiny was way off in the future. Even though I was walking toward my destiny, there were a lot of road that I needed to travel on to get there. And only the Holy Spirit knew the way that I needed to go. He said, “The future path had many problems. Not all the roads are straight. Sometimes, I have to take you on a detour to bring you to the spot and that was why, it was very important that you walk in My footsteps. For the future is the unknown. No one can smell, see or touch it. It is something that you can hope for, but it doesn’t come into existence until you are living in that time frame. All that the future can hold, is a promise. Each time you plan something about tomorrow, that plan doesn’t always materialize, for there are times when things change. I, Jesus, do not live in the future, nor do I live in the past. Instead, I live in this moment of time.” And this was the one thing that Jesus wanted me to learn.
I am slowly learning and allowing Jesus to handle these future situations, and when I do, the more inner peace I have. Many times I have heard Jesus say, “Why is it that you can trust Me this very second but you don’t trust Me to handle the future events that will arise? If I tell you not to worry about your future, why can’t you comprehend what I am saying? Don’t you realize that your future may or may not happen the way you think it will?”
“Who do you serve? Me, Jesus or Satan? Where does Satan lead you? When you walk by yourself looking at the things that you think will happen in the future, how do you respond? You become frightened and you walk in fear. Where does fear come from? It comes from Satan, the ruler of darkness. When you walk without Me Jesus, you continue to go around that same mountain. You may start at one end of that mountain and each time you accomplish things on your own, you move around that mountain. Then once you are on the other side of that mountain, there is only one way to go; which is back to the other side again.”
“As you continue to walk around that same mountain on your own, there is fear and uncertainty. You think that you are walking on your own, but who really has control over your life? It is Satan, the deceiver. You may think that you have succeeded, until situations that you have no control over, happens. Then, where can you go? Only back around that same mountain once more. During that time you are struggling to achieve your goal. Once you lose sight of it, you fall.”
“However, when you walk with Me Jesus in control over your life, you continue on a straight road that will lead you toward the happiness that I have chosen for your life. I will take you around this mountain only once. Then I will lead you right toward your destiny. I know what Satan plans for your future. That is why I tell you things ahead of time. To warn you and help you change the course that you are taking, so Satan has no control over you, as I lead you every step of the way.”
Jesus was teaching me how important it was for me to keep my focus upon my Savior at all times. If I continued doing this, I was no longer placing myself into danger. Then every problem that arose, I placed it upon Jesus’ shoulders. With Him controlling my life, I knew that I was safe and nothing would happen, where I would be harmed. He continued teaching me the importance of walking in total obedience and surrender to Him. When I do, He has given me His Inner Peace. But the most important things that I have learned, was that I had no control over my future, nor over my life. For I am a child of God, His chosen. I do have a destiny, Jesus promised me this. But, I have a long road ahead before I reach it.
The future is only the future. The unknown place that I plan on seeing. But my tomorrows I must place upon Jesus’ shoulders, since the future will always be in His hands.