Chapter 10:Don’t Doubt, Believe

Why, is it taking me so long, to grasp what Jesus is trying to teach me?  Is it because I don’t fully understand the ways of the Lord?  Every time Jesus tries to teach me something new, I don’t seem to comprehend, how to achieve this.  Then once that revelation finally hits, it is like a light bulb going off in my brain. “That was so simple.”  I would say to myself.  Then why did it take me so long to catch on?  What the Lord was trying to teach me, this time, was about my health.  Why can’t I accept the fact that I am healed?  What am  I missing?  I tried different ways to find this out.  I prayed.  I study the Word.  I even searched for the answers, by reading how Jesus walked, without allowing any of these things to come upon Him.  If Jesus Christ could do this, and I am part of His family, so can I.  That was easy to say, but hard to do.

I was still missing something.  Finally, when Jesus saw the trouble I was having, He explained it: When I was walking on the earth, I was never sick.  Instead, I constantly focused my eyes upon God Almighty.  I also prayed each night, asking God to protect me and to show me what I needed to do that following day.  Jesus continues. This present moment, I am here with you and so are My angels.  You may feel pain, but that is all it is.  Just a feeling.  It is nothing real.  Satan would like you to believe that something is definitely wrong.  To frighten you.  Once you become frightened, you take your eyes off Me, by focusing them onto that pain.  Then you fall into his control, by speaking this problem out loud.  Once you do, you suffer the consequences.  You must remember that anything you speak out of your mouth, you claim.  And that was what Satan wanted you to do.  To claim out loud that you were hurting.  When you do, you speak this pain into existence.

Many years ago, I helped you deal with your past.  When you did, I set you free.  I locked that door to your past, where Satan wasn’t able to attack you anymore, by making you feel worthless.  I also locked the door that led into your future.  I did this, when you fully surrendered your life to Me, by allowing Me to take “complete control” over it.  By doing that you learn how important it was to place your problems onto My shoulders, not yours.  By doing that Satan could no longer place fear into you about your future.  I also “taught you how important” it was for you “to walk every second” of the day with Me guiding you.  This present time, the “Now” that you have been walking in.

It is here where Satan tries to trap you.  All he has to do, is place a thought into your mind.  This thought that you are hurting.  The more you dwell upon it, eventually, you convince yourself that something is wrong.  Then you tell others about it, by speaking it into existence.  Even doctors and other people will try to convince you that you have a disease.  When you take their advice, you accept the outcome and you lose sight of Me.  Then sickness comes upon you.  For example, do you remember what happened to you in the year 2000 and on?  The different health problems that you had.  Tell Me once more, what had happened in the year 2000?  Then you will understand why.  Jesus said.

In the summer of 2000 I foolishly decided to make an appointment with a medical service, to find out, if I had inherited the same health problems that my mom had.  I have no idea why I decided to do this.  For I had no symptoms.

When the tests were done, they found that I had blockage in the same Carotid Artery that Mom had.  Instead of focusing my attention back onto Jesus, I opened up my mind to accept defeat.  Not only that, through my foolishness, I accepted  this lie that these people had spoken.  Then I spoke to other people about those tests.  Instead of walking in faith, I was now walking in fear.  Because I accepted that negative statement, I was also walking in doubt.  The more I walked that way, the quicker I lost sight of Jesus.  I ended up walking in my own strength, not His.  I was fighting a spiritual battle, all alone.  It wasn’t until the early part of 2001 that the first symptom started to develop.  I couldn’t lift up certain things, like I use to.  February of 2002 my right leg swelled up.  The next month more symptoms started developing.  Finally that spring I decided to make another appointment with that same medical service.  I  wanted to find out how badly this blockage was.

This time when the results came back, I wasn’t scared.  My eyes were focused back upon Jesus.  Even when I was told by the doctor that my artery was now 99% blocked, and I would have to have surgery, it didn’t faze me.  For I knew that my Lord and Savior was there.  Nor did it bother me, when the surgeon told me that I was a walking time bomb.  That at any moment, a clot could enter into my brain, causing me to have a stroke and killing me.  I trusted Jesus for the outcome.  I knew that He had opened up a door in heaven for my protection.  He wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen.

Once I had that surgery, I could feel a difference in my body.  The symptoms that I had were gone.  Three days later, I was able to go home.  Everything was going along fine at home, until I took the prescription that the surgeon had prescribed.  I had a very bad reaction to it.  If my youngest daughter and her family had not moved into my house that spring, I would have had some serious problems.

About an hour after I had taken that pill, I got up and I sat down to eat breakfast with my daughter and my grandsons.  As I was eating my bowl of cereal, my right hand went numb.  I told my daughter that I felt like I was about to faint.  I did.  When I came to, my daughter had her hand on my chest, holding me up in an upright position.  She was also on the phone talking to the 911 operator.  She later told me what had happened.  When I had fainted, my face fell into that bowl of cereal.  Her oldest son ran into their bedroom, to tell his dad that I was dead.  Jesus knew what Satan had planned on doing and that was why, He arranged for my daughter and her family to move into my house at that precede time.

Once more Jesus had His angels there for my protection. When Jesus opens a door, He opens it wide.  After I almost died, due to that medication, I grew wiser in what was happening.  I decided not to accept the words that this surgeon had spoken over me.  His words were, “This disease that you had inherited from your mom, would return.  You will be getting more plaque buildup in that artery.  And, it doesn’t matter what medicine you take, or what type of food you eat, to prevent this from happening again.”   I had a choice to make!  Do I accept what this surgeon has spoken over me, as fact?  Or, do I reject it, and place this problem onto Jesus’ shoulders, not mine?  If I accept it as fact, I would be under bondage for the rest of my life.  However, if I rejected it, by trusting Jesus for my healing, I would walk in freedom.

It was very hard breaking this curse though.  Even though I sought after Jesus, I could still hear the devil speaking doubt into my mind.  This doubt that I wasn’t healed.  So once more I made the wrong decision.  In 2003 I had more tests done.  When the results came back, this surgeon found no blockage in that artery.  Instead, he found blockage in both of my thighs.  For him to determine how badly this blockage was, the surgeon had me take more tests.  When those tests came back, he couldn’t understand, how I was able to walk around.  He said, “People with this severe blockage aren’t able to walk around.  I don’t understand how you can.”    But this time, the symptoms that I had, did not match my mother’s disease.  Instead, it matched another type of disease that only men, who smoked, got.  Months later I found out that this disease can also occur due to stress.  And yes, Stress can kill.

A month later, I had surgery on my right thigh. Next to this blocked artery was a good vein that he could have used.  But he chose not to.  Instead, he put a graft into my thigh.  I asked him, why, he didn’t use the good vein that was there.  His answer, “I decided to save it for the next operation that you will be needing in the future.”  When he spoke that curse over me, I wouldn’t accept it.  I decided that I was going to find a different method to rid this blockage in my left thigh, than surgery.  That way, was through Alternate medicine.

I had treatment at an Alternate Medical Clinic for only a few weeks.  Then the Holy Spirit gave me a choice.  He said, There are two different roads that you can take.  One road lead to Me, where I am in control over your life.  The other road leads to Satan, where he has you believing this lie about your health.  You need to get back onto the correct road, where I am leading you.  Vita, give your body time to adjust.  I allowed you to go to the Alternate Medical Clinic, but your time there is over.  You are healed and now it is time to leave there.  Continue to walk in the Supernatural Faith that I have given you and you will be all right.  Fall away from it and you will walk in the natural with its fear.

I asked Jesus for His forgiveness.  I also stopped going to that clinic.  Then one day, I heard an unfamiliar voice whisper doubt back into my mind.  I felt pain in my left foot.  So  I decided to take some medicine to relieve it.  As I was opening up this bottle, I heard the Lord say, Are you sure you want to take that pill?  He wanted me to focus all my attention upon Him, not a pill.  But I didn’t listen; I took the pill.  To my dismay, that pill didn’t relieve my pain.  Why not?  Because Jesus wasn’t the center of my attention, this pill was.  Once more, I was listening to the lies of the devil, thinking that it was the pill that would cure me and not Jesus.  Finally, Jesus got my attention. He opened up my eyes into the spiritual world.  When He did, I could sense evil spirits, as they were buzzing around my head, trying to get back into mind once more, so I would be defeated.

I was at a revival one night, when I heard the Lord say, Vita.  You need to stand still and see what I am going to do. Jesus was reassuring me that He had everything under His control.  It was His battle against Satan, not mine.  All that I had to do, was trust and stand firm with confidence that nothing would happen.  I needed to walk in His inner peace and to remain at rest under His wing.  Jesus said, Do not allow the evil one, to manipulate you into believing this lie about your health.  You need to keep your mind clear of these thoughts.  When these thoughts enter your mind, say the word “Jesus” over and over again, until that thought leaves you.  Your whole body is under My control.  Keep looking up to Me and be mindful of Me.  By doing this, you will slowly understand how to walk with a faith that will move mountains.  You need to confess, continually that you are healed.  Remember, it is not how you feel or what you see.  But it is through your trust in Me that things will happen.  The future is far away.  The present is here, this moment where I am here leading you.

Remember that the disease that they said you had, was caused by “stress.”  This stress was not of Me, but of Satan.  All through your life, Satan has placed stress in it.  But the most stressful time that you had to deal with, was when you were six years old.  When your Dad raped you.  That trauma created this stress to enter into your body.  When it did, a stone started to develop in your left kidney.  This stag horn stone that was discovered and removed in 1967 was caused by this stress.  The most recent stress that you had to endure, was when you had to confront your son-in-law that fall of 2002.  He said a lot of ugly things to you in front of his children.  You knew at that time, if you didn’t leave the house soon, you would explored.

Flashback:  My daughter was working that day.  Her husband had recently lost his job, again.  I decided that during our lunch, we would all listen to some Christian music.  But when I put on that music, my son-in-law told me that he didn’t want to listen to it.  So instead, I put on some children’s music.  He got angry.  He then said some ugly things about me in front of his children that were upsetting.   Once these words were said, he went out of the side door.  When he left, both of his children were shocked by his attitude.  I was furious.  I knew, if I didn’t leave my house soon, I would explode.

I phoned my friend, asking her, if I could come over.  She said that I could.  But when I walked out of my house, to get into my car, my son-in-law had pulled his car onto the driveway, behind mine.  I asked him to please move it.  As he was getting into his car, once more he said ugly things about me.  This made me very angry.  As he was walking back into the house, I said, “When I return, you better not be here.”  I then drove to my friend’s house.  It took my friend several hours to get me to calm down.  When I got home, my daughter informed me that her husband had moved out.

Jesus said, It was hard for your daughter to accept this, even though she and her children stayed with you for several more months.  Then February 2003, when she and her children moved out, loneliness came upon you.  It was here, where you allowed Satan to take control over your mind, once more.  Soon, this loneliness that you were feeling, created problems in your health.  You started to believe that curse that was spoken over you by the surgeon.  Stress was then able to enter back in.  Causing this blockage to occur.

Always walk with Me, Vita.  Let the Holy Spirit guide you.  The fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  “Love” drives out fear.  “Joy” drives out loneliness.  I give those who have surrendered and are obedient to Me, Inner Peace.  “Inner Peace” drives out stress.   That is why it is very important to focus all you attending upon Me, each and every day.  Now stand still and watch what I am going to do.

September 14, I went to a church in Newnan.  After the service was over, the pastor asked if anyone had a need.  I raised up my hand.  As I was standing in front of him, he anointed me with oil.  He then said, “God doesn’t want you to try to understand Him.”  After the pastor left, God spoke. Why don’t you trust me for your healing, like you do with your finances?  The devil is a liar.  You need to look to Me for healing, not doctors.  As I continued standing there with my arms raised, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit.  His anointed started in my hands and it slowly went down my body to my feet.  Later that night, when I was in bed, my foot started hurting me once more.  When it did, I heard the Holy Spirit say over and over again, By the blood of the Lamb.  By the blood of the Lamb. 

I knew that I needed to stand on God’s promise.  I needed to fight against this temptation that the spirits of darkness were trying to place back into my mind.  Telling me that my body wasn’t healed.  Instead of acknowledging this, I closed my eyes and I praised Jesus Christ.  Then  I saw a cross and part of Jesus’ face, His eyes and His nose.  I knew then that I was healed.

Once more I heard Jesus say, Vita, you have a choice.  You can believe in Me for your healing.  But to believe in Me, you need to focus all your attention upon Me.  The moment you take your eyes off Me, you fall.

October 6th I felt a gush in my left thigh.  The plaque buildup that I had in it, was gone.  I could also see blood flowing down into my foot, where there wasn’t any before.  Not only that, my foot now had a pulse in it, and it was warm, whereas before, it wasn’t.  The Great Physician, Jesus Christ has healed me.  Hallelujah.

Last night at church, as the person who was carrying the flag with the cross of Jesus on it, was moving through the isles, I reached out my hand into the supernatural and I touch the hem of Jesus’ garment.  Now when a thought of sickness or pain comes into my mind, I don’t dwell upon it.  Instead, I focus all my attion upon the Lord.  Knowing that nothing bad would ever happen to me again that Jesus couldn’t control.

Psalm 91:1-2  HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand] I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! (Amplied Bible)

Psalm 57:1 BE MERCIFUL and gracious to me, O God, be merciful and gracious to me, for my soul takes refuse and finds shelter and confidence in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge and be confident until calamites and destructive storms are passed. :7 My heart is fixed O God, my heart if steadfast and confident!  I will sing and make melody. :10 For Your mercy and loving kindness are great, reaching to the heavens, and Your truth and faithfullness to the clouds. (Amplied Bible)


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